Take responsibility for your life
It is one of those frustrating and disappointing experiences in life—you asked for help or expected one from someone you think could help, but you were wrong—they cannot help. Have you been there?
Sometimes we expect some people to help us. We get disappointed, but we may never realise that they cannot help or cannot do as much as we would have desired.
I remembered one science experiment we did in school many years ago. It was to determine the elasticity of a material. An elastic material like a rubber band was among the requirements. We had to hang the rubber band from a clamp stand and added a series of masses of 100g each on it, using a mass holder with a hook. A ruler clamped vertically is placed by the side to measure the distance. We took the initial measurement with no mass added. A series of the 100g mass is added one at a time, and the corresponding reading recorded.
The more mass you add, the more it stretches. You can add up to five or even ten or more and observe. Like so many other experiments, there are so many lessons to learn from it. It shows the property of the materials involved. One of them is that at a certain point, if you keep adding the mass, the rubber stretches that it cannot go any further. It breaks—all the mass drops.
It is an important lesson that applies to life. It is the concept of limit. Everyone one has a limit, and we should appreciate individual characteristics and limitation.
You may assume that some people can help. Yes, they probably could. You may be like one of the 100g mass, but you may not realise that they have reached their limit or probably at breaking point. Yes, they have helped others in the past, but their present circumstance cannot accommodate any more. It may not be that they do not want to help, but they cannot.
I can understand the disappointment of so many people when they seek help from colleagues, acquaintances, friends and families. It may be that they have stretched beyond the limit. They may not tell you all the details, but they may not be in a position to help.
What do you do in such circumstances? Take responsibility for your life. Do not blame people or blackmail them. They probably have helped you sometime in the past. You need to rise and take up the challenge. So many people have resulted in blaming people for their misfortune. Children sometimes blame their parents, or some citizens blame the government, or employee blames the employer, or one nation blames another for their problems.
It is vital to realise that they can only do so much. No one can give what one does not have. Most parents do all they can to help their children. They are limited—they may have done their best or all they know to do. If you want to go any further, you must take responsibility for your life, appreciate all their efforts and accept their limits.
You have put your hope in people long enough, but they failed you. You need to rise and take responsibility. Stop waiting for them to change; you can decide to change. Your teachers, friends, community, and colleagues may have failed you, but you can take steps to address the wrong. There is hope for tomorrow if you decide to change today.
You may have sought help and ended up worse or even have been robbed by those you once trusted the most. There is hope for you. Help is a privilege that you should appreciate. Every one around can only try as much as they can. Many that failed may not have done so intentionally, but unfortunately, they did not know any better and neither did you, at least at that time. You could have made a better decision. If you point one finger to blame others, you are pointing three to yourself. It only implies that you have more responsibility over your life than anyone else.
If you attend a primary school, you will get all the help and support you need at that level. A time comes that you have to leave. You need to enter another stage of life. The assistance you get from primary school is no longer sufficient for your new phase of life.
You progress to secondary and get secondary level assistance. A time comes when you have to leave as well. The help you need changes as you make progress in life. You may be stagnated and frustrated because you are focusing on those that cannot help you. You may be looking up to the wrong people to help you.
Imagine you enrol in a music school for beginners and get on so well with everyone. You have mastered the level and may desire to progress to the advanced stage. It is a good idea, so you approach the school and express your interest. They may then remind you that though they appreciate your love for the school and teachers, their service is for starters, they cannot help you any further. It may be a disappointment, but you need to go. You need to take responsibility and find out how you can progress your interest and desires.
A young child grows up with his parents with help and assistance to equip him/her for the future. A time comes that the child matures, and the support available cannot be the same as the younger years. There is a need to expand, start his/her own family, a need to manage his/her affairs, a need to become a parent, among others. He/she needs to take responsibility and learn to be independent. It is a new phase of life. You have to leave their house—where you got help, to begin to take care of yourself and raise others as well.
Whatever situation you find yourself in today, you need to assess your circumstance and seek a way to move forward. Let the past be gone, and look forward to the opportunities that lie ahead of you.
To be continued next week, don’t miss it.
Thank you for investing time to read this post. I hope you have found it valuable. I will be glad to hear from you. Please leave a comment below and share.
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