‘All I need is Help‘
The challenges of life could be overwhelming. It could even be more trying and frustrating if those that could help you misunderstand you. It could be worse if those that love you do not realise, thus hurting you more. Have you been there?
It would have been an ideal situation when you, those around you, or probably those that could help, know what you need and can assist. It is not always so, most often than not for some people. Many ended worse because they never got the assistance they required when they needed it. Sometimes the problems we see stems from not knowing how to get support or a misunderstanding of the situation.
Many years ago, my family lived next door to a young man. He looks respectful and would pass for someone that could not hurt a fly. It could only take living close to him to change your mind. He was struggling and frustrated. He was into drugs because of his past experiences and disappointments. He sought a different lady almost every week to stay with him. They were arguing, fighting, throwing furniture at each other, among other things, often. It was challenging to have a quiet night. He was a troubled young man. He continually observed our family, and one day he decided to knock at our door. He saw a family, according to him, he desires. ‘Is it possible for a family to be like this?’ he thought. He was looking for something, but he never knew how to get it. He found an example of what is different or better than what he was used to and was attracted. He saw the possibility to live without doing the things he was doing.
His question baffled me. He asked, ‘Are you human beings?’ Yes, we are just like you, I answered. It occurred to me that he wanted peace, but he never knew how. He wanted fulfilment, but he did not know how to go about it. He did not want to hurt anyone, but he found no example to guide him. I was glad to help, showing him how we lived and what has made a difference in our lives. He realised that challenges are common to all, but knowing what to do at every phase of life makes the difference. He was willing to receive it and saw the difference. He decided against drugs and chose to start a new course of his life. He was eventually free from the addiction, began to think and live differently. He later got married to a professional lawyer.
Have you ever wondered how many people are in a similar position? They only need an example to guide them on the right path. They need support on how to achieve their desire goal.
The thief may be someone that needs money but does not know how to get it legitimately. The prostitute may be one with emotional needs but does not know how to meet them. The adulterer could be someone deprived of joy or fulfilment, but those not know how to go about it. The rebellious could be a child in need of affirmation but does not know how to get it. The loose girl may be the child deprived of fatherly love but does not know how to fill the gap.
The student constituting a nuisance may have failed in every attempt at doing everything he knows to do and does not know how to get on. The burglar could have tried to get work severally but failed and cannot see any opportunities. The trouble maker may be someone that cannot understand how others are doing well, and yet he cannot thrive in life. The dull child could be one with needs that nobody seems to understand.
The cheat could be one that failed his exams and does not know how to pass. The frustrated team member is someone different from others and does not know how to be happy with his/her uniqueness. The offensive neighbour could be frustrated but does not know how to solve his/her problems, now begins to think and do the unthinkable. The deceiver is probably someone deceived and robbed, does not know how to recover and decides to deceive others.
The restless child needs attention and understanding, but no one seems to be able to understand. The noisy colleague could be someone that desires to be heard, hurting but does not know how to get assistance.
If you can hear their cry, if you can feel their pain, if you understand their frustration, they may be saying nothing more than these five words; ‘…all I need is help’. Evil increases when people have needs they do not know how to meet.
Dissatisfaction has made many hate themselves, preferring to be like someone else. A relevant example or support would go a long way to help appreciate their uniqueness.
In a BBC report some time ago, a woman that once changed to a man at sixteen revealed the damage it caused to her life. In retrospect, she regrets it, as she now agrees it was an uninformed decision. She joined a court case to protect others in a similar situation. She was excited that the high court judgment supported her position. She wished she got relevant assistance sooner. All she needed was support to navigate through that phase of her life.
When people do not know how to get assistance, the problem multiplies. They may lose hope, call it quits, or some others become suicidal. All that is required is access to the relevant support. When people know what to do and are willing to do it, they can meet their needs. They have the opportunity to maximise their potentials. The reverse is also true. If they do not know how to get access to the assistance they require, it may affect their lives negatively and that of others. It explains why many are in the position they find themselves in today.
What you are going through may not be strange, but it may be unfamiliar. You will do well to seek the support that is relevant to your situation. You may also be in a better position to support those in need. The signs you see around you as a leader, teacher, parent, manager, or president may be one revealing their needs and struggles, not their wish. All they probably need is help.
To be continued next week, don’t miss it.
Thank you for investing time to read this post. I hope you have found it valuable. I will be glad to hear from you. Please leave a comment below and share.
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