Copy Right -Understanding the art of learning from others -Part 7

Ask Questions.

We often ask questions. Everyone would have asked one or many at different times in life. We might have asked several questions, but there may be times we do not ask or probably not the right questions in life.

Have you ever asked the reason behind the actions of some people that you so much love and respect? Have you assumed or probably surprised by their actions when it is different?

It is common to see different people act differently under the same circumstance. You may never know the reason why someone behaves the way they do or their choices until you ask them. Your discovery could either confirm your thought or shock you.

There is a growing desire to do what others do, especially those seen as the great, accepted and successful. We may discover some shocking truths if we know the reason behind what some of these people do. The basis could be different from what we think. That is why it is necessary to ask the right questions to get a better understanding of not just the actions but also the reasons behind them.

Little or no knowledge about something could be a clear evidence of assumption. If we do not seek the right information, we could be wrong and make wrong decisions. So many times, we operate in error because of assumptions and therefore end up with a different result.

There was a young professional that travelled around the world, going to different destinations at different times as he wishes. A friend asked, ‘Why do you travel so often, and where do you get the funds for these expensive trips.’ He answered by explaining the nature of his work. ‘I travel very often in the course of my work. The organisation I work for pays for the flights and accommodation by reimbursing all my expenses. I registered for a loyalty programme with the providers of the flight and accommodation which means that I get loyalty points every time I use their services which then adds up to points that could give me a free ticket to different destinations and accommodation.’ His friend had a change of mind because he knew better after the answer.

The young man may look prosperous to many people, spending so much on travels around the world. Some may think he is wasteful or dubious. The answer to the question will be of help to so many in doubt. He is taking advantage of the season of his life. He would not always be working for the same organisation or have the opportunity or privilege forever. The opportunity applies to him and probably some others in a similar industry with similar organisational policies. A desire to be like him without understanding may cost much more because the young man was able to do all he did at little or no extra cost to him.

Many people copy this type of actions. They never realised that the people they are copying are driving company cars, living in company accommodation, clothed with allowances from their organisation, dining with vouchers or fully paid or claimable expenses, spending from trip allowances provided by their company or organisation. If you do not understand, do not assume, you will learn more from asking than copying without asking the right questions.

A lady once relocated because of her work and decided to sell her old house to buy a new one closer to her workplace. She found the right one, which was bigger, better and cheaper than the current one. There were many offers for the property as it generated many local interests. The lady decided to offer more compared to the others so that she could secure the property, which meant it was sold slightly higher than the asking price and the valued price. Asked, ‘Why are you willing to pay more?’ She said, ‘It is still far cheaper for me, compared to my former property that I sold. I received some compensated from my company for the relocation. I also desperately need a place very close to work as soon as possible.’ The owner of the property next door might attempt the same process assuming that his will also be sold above market value, but it may not be so because the scenario may not be the same at that time. If only we can get to know more before we act like other people do, it will go a long way in helping us avoid some unpleasant experiences.

You may never get to know why people do what they do till you ask. If you want to learn, ask then you can make informed decisions based on the answers. Someone may relocate because of a new job, to upsize or downsize, proximity to friends and family, moving away from troublesome neighbours or environment, compensation or a discount, accessibility to Schools, new opportunities and so on. If you move because everyone you know is relocating, you may later discover that you have done yourself a big disservice. The action could look good, but their reason for doing it may not be relevant to you, which could make you frustrated if you follow the same step uninformed.

Some may go on expensive holidays because they have less financial commitments or have more support from their grown-up children. Some may decide to go on less costly holidays because they have more financial obligations at that phase of their lives. Some could opt to go on expensive trips even though they have more commitment but see it as an investment in education that is necessary at that time while depriving themselves of something else. Everyone may have a different reason for doing the same thing, but you may never know until you ask.

An employee was always early to get to work. When asked for the reason, he revealed that he got a free ride to work from a neighbour, that picked him up from home at a particular time which saves him a lot of money on transportation. He took advantage of the ride every day, that means he arrived early every day. One may assume he is dedicated because he walks in an hour before work, but upon inquiry, the reason was different, which may soon be apparent when the free ride stops.

Another employee would not go home on time and kick against any offer to work from home. Asked for his reason; He revealed that there were some problems at home he was trying to avoid by staying longer at work. One could have assumed that he is hard-working but not really.

A student could be quiet in a classroom because of the fear of shame if he makes a mistake. The teacher may assume he is gentle or well behaved and admonish other students to be like him. If asked, so many issues affecting him could come to light. He may not be gentle but probably going through so much that he could not voice out.

A popular speaker once walked to the stage to deliver a speech. She noticed that all eyes were on her shoes. It is probably well known and expensive. She decided to comment and said ‘I did not buy it, it was a gift.’ Some people ruin their lives or put themselves under unnecessary pressures trying to wear what others are wearing, but they never know how they got it. It may be expensive, but it may be a gift, borrowed, hired, on loan, bought from savings, dividends, salary after hard work or extra work and so on. Be happy with yourself and the phase of life you are in at the moment. You may not be where they are yet; you may be there in a few years. Be patient.

You may be attracted to people by what you see. There may be a desire to do what they do. You may be missing something vital until you ask. You may not know the missing link until you inquire. You will be able to make a better decision when you are informed, and you will know more when you ask. Do not live based on assumptions; it could be very costly. Get relevant information that can help you see a transformation.

You can learn better from others when you understand the reason behind what they do by asking relevant questions. They will reveal the reasons behind their choices and give you insight that will not only help you understand the actions you see but also the basis of such acts. Ask before you copy.

To be continued next week, don’t miss it.

I hope you have found this post valuable, please leave a comment below and share with others. Send in your questions or contributions as well if you have any, I will be glad to hear from you.

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